Parenting Gifts

Tags

children, Ducati, Inspirational, motherhood, Motorcycle, motorcycle ride, parenthood, Parenting

I once received a rather surprising birthday gift after replying to  this ad :

“Win free tickets to the Motorcycle show”.

I’d experienced my first motorcycle ride on my twelfth birthday. I clearly recall straddling the massive bike, leaning into the sturdy back of its male driver, and sensing his strength steering the bike as it accelerated. As a shy girl standing on the cusp of young womanhood, experiencing this raw power roaring beneath me contrasted starkly to my rather dull days. Watching the scenery whizz by, I even flirted with the idea of possibly owning one as an adult. Eventually university and family responsibilities displaced that dream. 

When I did win those free tickets, my twelve-year youngest son recalled his inaugural ride at the family cottage. I can well imagine his thrilling perspective from behind the male driver- he was the tender age of only two.

Who else would I take but him?

The event itself lived up to our expectations. We admired and compared the abundant motorbikes on display, entering every single contest, hoping to win something. Our mutual favorite was the bike that had won the World Superbike Championship race – the Ducati 998. After the show, its advertising brochure graced my living room bookshelf.

On my birthday months later, my son came up behind me and asked:

“Hey mom, have you seen the gift for you in the driveway?”

I joked, “Oh really? Did you buy me a fancy sports car?

“No, something better. Come and see.”

Curious now, I looked through the curtain windows to scan the driveway.

“Nope, no sports car there.”

“Mom! Come on!”. Sharing his enthusiasm, I hurried outside.

Hidden behind my old Honda sat a shiny new red Ducati motorbike.

Just like the one on the brochure.

The motorbike was more than a surprising birthday gift. It was and remains a tangible memento of our rapport and camaraderie. Parenting is never simply about being a role model, teaching manners and reading stories before bed. Parenting is sharing my whole life with my children, all my youthful and still present longings and losses.

Even though neither my son or I may ever own a Ducati, in many ways, this replica is even better. The miniature that graces my bookshelf will never break down nor wear out.

Just like the love between mother and son.

Happy Mother’s Day

Tags

Family, gifts, leather gifts, Mothers Day, tacky gifts

We all long to give our mothers a gift that demonstrates just how much we love and care for them.

In one difficult and challenging year for my mother, close to Mother’s Day, I asked her to go shopping with me for new shoes. But, I had an ulterior motive. I was hoping that our shopping adventure would reveal a gift that she’d love to have but would never buy for herself. I needed to find something that touched her heart and lifted her spirit.  She deserved something special, especially that year.  

As we walked through the store, I pointed out things I knew she liked, pretty dishes, extravagant purses and once, even a beautiful painting. Preoccupied with life issues, she barely even glanced at most of them.

After buying my shoes, we were heading out the store when she paused to stare at a particular mannequin.

“Wow”, she said, “Imagine wearing that!”

Finally, a gift that clearly met my criteria.

Needless to say, I went back the next day to purchase it. As a teenaged girl, I clearly believe it was the perfect gift for my 45-year-old mother.

As she carefully pulled apart the yellow wrapping paper on Mother’s Day, I could barely contain my enthusiasm.

Frowning at first, she quickly recovered to smile graciously at me.

“Why sweetie, this really is something.I wouldn’t want to wear it out, so I’ll wear it only on a very special occasion.”

Awkwardly dangling the hanger carefully, she held up the outfit the mannequin had worn:

A sequins studded heavy black leather bra-

With matching panties, of course.

Today, mothers everywhere will open up equally tacky gifts

And SMILE

For all they see is the love that accompanies it.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Life Affirming Relationships

Tags

After the Burial, Burial, Cemetery, Cremation, Death, Death Care, life, Tree, Urn

Which would you prefer? A tree or a tombstone?

This is a Bios Urn, a completely biodegradable urn that contains a single tree seed. When planted, the tree seed may absorb the nutrients from the ashes. The urn itself is made from coconut shell and contains compacted peat and cellulose. The ashes are mixed with this, and the seed placed inside. You can even choose which type of tree you’d like to grow.

I appreciate this idea, which takes the trend of being cremated and the ubiquitous memorial benches to a new level.

But, what if the tree dies?

I confess that I never thought I’d be the kind of person who would wish to go to a cemetery to ‘visit’ a loved one.

And yet, on a beautiful sunny day, I will sit beside my mother’s cremation plaque visiting with her. I chose this cemetery for its breath-taking beautiful view of mountains. These mountains uniquely bond my mother and me. I chose to move far away to live in this city because I couldn’t stay away from them; she chose to move to this city because she couldn’t stay so far away from me.

Our mutual love for these mountains bonds us now in a way nothing else can. 

Visiting a cemetery is the perfect place to sit and to remember that life is all about relationships, our intimate bonding with others.

Amazingly, it is a life-affirming place to be.